.new.props.

Just playing around with two new props (chairs) we bought....my girls are the official prop testers.  

.He.gives.and.takes.away.

Ethan Bradley is the brand new son of one of my dear friends, Lesha. Along with our close friend, Leah, I had the awesome privilege of being there with Lesha throughout her pregnancy - even from the day she first took a test! I was so excited for her... Leah, Lesha, and I talked about having babies all the time...you know, just dreaming (or worrying) together.

The first person I called after she told me the news was who else...my mom. Leah and I followed all the details of Lesha's pregnancy...doctor's appointments, sonograms, picking out nursery stuff, etc., etc. We were just so excited for her and loved hearing about what we might be in store for one day....God willing. =) We would talk and talk about baby Ethan. I would also relay the info to my mom because she just loved hearing about anything to do with my life or my friends. Plus, I'd ask her random pregnancy and baby questions just because we would be on the subject.

On September 14th, Leah discovered she was also pregnant. On September 15th, Ethan Bradley Wheat was born at around 4 am. Seven hours prior to his birth (on September 14th), my mama was taken to Heaven.

It is a little surreal to see the Lord's scripture in such an in your face sort of way. "The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord!" - Job 1:21

In reading this scripture again tonight, I realize that maybe I've been interpreting it wrong. Why would He take away my mama? It just doesn't make sense. I need her. I want her here for me and my future babies. Why should I say "Blessed be the name of the Lord" when He took her from me?

Then, I realized....the scripture probably means He has taken away our fear, our sin, our sadness, our sickness, our weakness...you get the idea. He has taken her away to be with Him in a world where there is no sadness or sickness. Plus, he is helping to take away (or at least deal with) my unbearable pain. He is helping my family mourn in a peaceful and healthy way. I feel like He has GIVEN me a weird sense of peace and strength that I cannot explain. So, "Blessed be the name of the Lord!"

Deep...yes, I know. SO, to lighten things up, here are a few pics of Ethan Bradley!

.missing.mama.

I realized today that I no longer have someone in my life that will stand and wave good bye to me when I fly on an air plane.

Let me clarify…someone who would patiently wait until my plan took flight and then watch my plan disappear into the clouds.

That was my mama.

I thought about this today because I heard a lady talking about it. She spoke of how she dropped her daughter off at the airport and then parked her car where she could see her plan. She stood and waved to her daughter’s plan as it flew away. She thought to herself, I don’t know which side she is on, but I’m going to wave anyway. As it turns out, her daughter DID see her waving!

Hearing this simple story brought tears to my eyes as I realized that I no longer had someone in my life like that. Someone who would miss me so much, they would do just about anything to catch one last glimpse.

I know mama use to do this sort of stuff. When I was in high school, we took a choir trip to the coast via charter buses. Mama dropped me off at the school (5:00 am) and I loaded on the bus. At the time, my parents’ house sat just off the interstate. If you stood in our front yard, you could see the interstate through the trees across from our house. Mama told me later, that once she got home from dropping me off at the school, she stood outside just waiting for my bus to pass.

I also had a strong urge to talk to her today. I even dialed her work number…something I use to do on a daily basis. Even if I didn’t need to tell her anything specific, I would call just to say hey. I knew it meant the world to her to hear from me. I loved making her happy. I didn’t ACTUALLY dial her work # out of fear someone would answer it and ask what I was doing. So, I just didn’t dial “9” to get out. BUT, just to hear the familiar sound that her collection of numbers makes…you know, like a little song. Hearing that combination of numbers dialing was such a warm and familiar sound. It use to mean I was about to talk to my mama. Now, it means nothing. It was such an empty feeling.

I miss my mama today. I miss how she missed me. I wonder if she is missing me now.

.mama's.table.

It's been a week ago tonight that our mama left us to be with Jesus. It's been the hardest week of our entire lives and will hopefully top the charts as the hardest we'll ever have to endure as I do not think I could bear anything worse than losing her.

The table in the pictures above was my great grandmother's table - passed down to my mother by her mother. It's been sitting in my mom's attic for as long as I can remember...mama would mention it from time to time, but we never did anything with it. While cleaning out my parent's attic, we found this amazing family treasure that mama had always talked about. Mama absolutely loved this table, but it really needed some work, so I had it refinished for her. The day she was being admitted into the hospital, the guy refinishing it called to let me know it was ready. I told him that I'd pick it up after my mom got out of the hospital. Then, for a reason I cannot explain, I called him back and asked him if I could go ahead and pick it up right then - mama didn't have to be at the hospital until 11:30 and it was only 9:00. SO, I picked it up and brought it to her as a surprise. She could barely speak because her mouth was so dry and she was so weak, but when she saw her table, she said "it's gorgeous, it's gorgeous!" That was the first and last time she saw her precious table. She never left the hospital.

It's so funny how something so small could mean so much. I am so glad she got to see her table.

The roses pictured are from her casket bouquet.

I'll write more soon about her.

Love you mama!

.prayers.needed.

As many of you may already be aware, my sister and I have decided to put our photography business on hold temporarily in order to focus on our family....specifically, our mother. On July 3rd, she was diagnosed with malignant melanoma. She is undergoing chemo (pills) and had her first radiation treatment on Friday. The chemo and radiation will hopefully slow down the growth/spread of her cancer. The goal is to get her more comfortable, so she can enjoy her life again and new house (yes, we also moved my mom and dad to Lisa’s neighborhood in the midst of all of this!).  

Our mother means the world to us – our best friend, our “mama,” the one who loves us and knows us like no other. One of our biggest fears is that our mother will never know her grandchildren. This is a fear that hits me, personally, every morning when I wake up and every night when I go to bed. It’s so selfish, but I want her here with me. I need her here with me. I’m not supposed to lose her this early in my life, right?  The fear of the unknown can eat you up inside, but I'm praying for total healing and that she'll be here with us for a long time to come.  "It is better to trust the Lord than put confidence in man."  Psalms 118:8

As you can probably tell, my sister and I are extremely close to our "mama" and this has really devastated our tight knit family. It’s so cliché to say, but in the BLINK OF AN EYE our life is totally unrecognizable. We are different people effective July 3, 2008. Our lives and how we view things are forever changed. Our strength has been God who we are certain will pull our family through this very dark time. We believe with our heart and soul that this is happening for a reason – it’s what gets us through each day. I, personally, have become much closer with God and my family (my mother specifically) has also become much closer with God. At the end of the day, the most important thing a person can have is a relationship with Jesus – it’s EVERYTHING – without Him, we have nothing. This life is so fleeting – such a vapor. We always knew this, but with our mother, we understand this reality on a much deeper level.

Please pray for our family. We will keep you posted as to when we will be booking sessions again. Right now, our time and energy is being spent taking care of our mama. She has made such incredible sacrifices for us. It's payback time! If we can do half the job taking care of her that she did for us, we'll be doing good!

Thank you for your prayers and understanding.

"Faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see." ~ Hebrews 11:1

.sweet.caroline.

This morning, we had the pleasure of capturing Caroline's sweet face! Caroline and her mom, Mandy, were in town from Hattiesburg this weekend and I am so glad I had the opportunity to get some shots of them.  I cannot believe Caroline is now 2 years old!  She has grown up so much. Time has really flown by!  Caroline L-O-V-E-D playing in the water this morning during the shoot.  She was too cute!  Here is a sneak peek at a few from today . . . 

.first.wedding.

We shot our very first wedding today and what a sweet wedding to shoot! The colors were amazing (check out that cake)! We were a little afraid of the rain (outside wedding), but the rain held off and made for a beautiful ceremony. Rachelle and Josh, thanks for letting us share in this very special day. Here are a few favs from your wedding. There are tons more to come soon....