.missing.mama.
I realized today that I no longer have someone in my life that will stand and wave good bye to me when I fly on an air plane.
Let me clarify…someone who would patiently wait until my plan took flight and then watch my plan disappear into the clouds.
That was my mama.
I thought about this today because I heard a lady talking about it. She spoke of how she dropped her daughter off at the airport and then parked her car where she could see her plan. She stood and waved to her daughter’s plan as it flew away. She thought to herself, I don’t know which side she is on, but I’m going to wave anyway. As it turns out, her daughter DID see her waving!
Hearing this simple story brought tears to my eyes as I realized that I no longer had someone in my life like that. Someone who would miss me so much, they would do just about anything to catch one last glimpse.
I know mama use to do this sort of stuff. When I was in high school, we took a choir trip to the coast via charter buses. Mama dropped me off at the school (5:00 am) and I loaded on the bus. At the time, my parents’ house sat just off the interstate. If you stood in our front yard, you could see the interstate through the trees across from our house. Mama told me later, that once she got home from dropping me off at the school, she stood outside just waiting for my bus to pass.
I also had a strong urge to talk to her today. I even dialed her work number…something I use to do on a daily basis. Even if I didn’t need to tell her anything specific, I would call just to say hey. I knew it meant the world to her to hear from me. I loved making her happy. I didn’t ACTUALLY dial her work # out of fear someone would answer it and ask what I was doing. So, I just didn’t dial “9” to get out. BUT, just to hear the familiar sound that her collection of numbers makes…you know, like a little song. Hearing that combination of numbers dialing was such a warm and familiar sound. It use to mean I was about to talk to my mama. Now, it means nothing. It was such an empty feeling.
I miss my mama today. I miss how she missed me. I wonder if she is missing me now.
Let me clarify…someone who would patiently wait until my plan took flight and then watch my plan disappear into the clouds.
That was my mama.
I thought about this today because I heard a lady talking about it. She spoke of how she dropped her daughter off at the airport and then parked her car where she could see her plan. She stood and waved to her daughter’s plan as it flew away. She thought to herself, I don’t know which side she is on, but I’m going to wave anyway. As it turns out, her daughter DID see her waving!
Hearing this simple story brought tears to my eyes as I realized that I no longer had someone in my life like that. Someone who would miss me so much, they would do just about anything to catch one last glimpse.
I know mama use to do this sort of stuff. When I was in high school, we took a choir trip to the coast via charter buses. Mama dropped me off at the school (5:00 am) and I loaded on the bus. At the time, my parents’ house sat just off the interstate. If you stood in our front yard, you could see the interstate through the trees across from our house. Mama told me later, that once she got home from dropping me off at the school, she stood outside just waiting for my bus to pass.
I also had a strong urge to talk to her today. I even dialed her work number…something I use to do on a daily basis. Even if I didn’t need to tell her anything specific, I would call just to say hey. I knew it meant the world to her to hear from me. I loved making her happy. I didn’t ACTUALLY dial her work # out of fear someone would answer it and ask what I was doing. So, I just didn’t dial “9” to get out. BUT, just to hear the familiar sound that her collection of numbers makes…you know, like a little song. Hearing that combination of numbers dialing was such a warm and familiar sound. It use to mean I was about to talk to my mama. Now, it means nothing. It was such an empty feeling.
I miss my mama today. I miss how she missed me. I wonder if she is missing me now.
